What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?
My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)
#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)
A box of baby bengals
"What? No, I’m sorry, I ordered half a dozen mini bagels —”
"Shut up, we’re keeping them."
one of my favorite things about the rivals-to-lovers trope is when one of them, at the beginning of their relationship, grumbles about how much they hate the other person’s awful face and i sort of cackle to myself like, oh man. you’re going to have it so bad. it’s going to be so great. you are going to love the CRAP out of that awful face. you’ll be composing delicious, pining, sappy sonnets about it. i love it.
*steps over the border into california*
*red hot chili peppers plays*
I hit words at random on iOS 8’s new predictive text feature so I could see what type of sentence my phone thinks I’m likely to say, and
"What do you plan to do with your future?"
things i was supposed to do this weekend:
things i did this weekend:
petition for vatican city to compete in eurovision
live from eurovision 2015!!!!!!! no, your eyes are not betraying you that IS INDEED THE POPE BREAKDANCING
Life hack: date a guy who’s tall enough to always be looking at you from the same angle you take selfies from
so this is a thing
a bunch of moms are making letters+audio recordings of affirming, validating letters to queer/trans* people who don’t get that kind of support from their moms
i would say more about it but
im kind of busy in this puddle of tears on the floor so
In case any of my followers don’t have this kind of support from home…
my mom did this and if you need an honourary mother i promise she would be happy to talk to you
but do you ever just suddenly remember you can just
like you can just climb on your roof and stand there, you can go walk to a school and talk to the first person there about anything
you can drive to the grand canyon by yourself for no reason
fun fact: we still don’t know if god is dead or not, but nietzsche definitely is. I guess god won this one